What would I do differently if I knew nobody would judge me? I would do a lot more drinking and exploring with my sexuality. Also, I would (if I weren't my worst critic) sleep with people I enjoyed and see how I could cope with it afterwards. If I ever got to the point where I could be intimate with a person and not over-analyze the experience...that would be a day I stopped judging myself. I would also be as goofy as I am with everyone. I dont mind keeping that side of me in the shadow though.
Do I treat myself with the love and respect I truly deserve? I definitely try and treat myself with love and respect. I have self-care rituals, I enjoy eating healthy and pride myself in doing what I want to do. I love myself. I respect myself. I am also beginning to forgive myself and enjoy the moment.
How does your wildest dream life look like? I live in the PNW, a house surrounded by trees and two mountain dogs- huskies, kangal shepherds, saint bernards, great danes; any breed that is captivating in height and beauty. I have a mountain man, or a man who loves the mountains, the forest, life. I am working a job that gives me satisfaction although in my wildest dreams I would have my own business. An all natural salon with massage included. Life would be simple and spontaneous, magical and vulnerable.
Do you love yourself enough to forgive yourself? Apparently I have been struggling with this. I didn't realize how tough it can actually be to forgive yourself. Will it be a feeling of bliss when I do finally forgive myself? I mean, I haven't forgiven myself for events that happened years ago. It's awful. Almost all of these experiences have a man involved. Ryce Miller, Daniel, Brad, Ian, Noel, leaving to Garmsich, not being there for dad or mom during their cancer stint. If I didn't feel the judgement from others and myself, could those moments of guilt or sadness slip away where memories fade? Would I feel my bliss? Im going to be taking today's total lunar eclipse into account and forgive myself for all the guilt I have.
Do you love yourself enough to forgive others? Absolutely. Not forgiving others is bad juju. A waste of good energy. I do enjoy a lovely three part apology though. No half-fasting it. You apologize for what happened. You then state how it must of felt for them and how it won't happen again. Then at that point it is up to myself to allow forgiveness to flow through.
Do you love yourself enough to nourish your body with life-affirming nutrient-rich food (the way nature intended), or do you feed yourself processed non-foods like sugar, white bread, etc.? Yes! 150% yes!! I try and eat less salt and more nutrient-dense food. Josh has helped me with that when I choose something and it's not nutritious at all. I love fruit and veggies; I always have. I notice though that mono-meals are what I enjoy most. Don't get me wrong, mixed fruit or veggies are delicious, yet I prefer tasting one throughout my meal. Something I have noticed is how I feel after eating rich nutrient food. This morning I woke up quickly without being tired. It was lovely! The meal I ate last night was my take of pioneer food. The sweet potato was amazing with chili paste. It works wonders.
Do you love yourself enough to feed your soul with whatever your heart intends? Recently, yes. After my break up I felt a release of doubt and fear. My heart was guiding me in Noel's direction because I did not want to have the sadness of ending the relationship. I also didnt want Noel to feel horrible. My head, FINALLY, won over with logic. Now, my heart guides me. I enjoy that more because of the comfort I feel.
