It kills me. My heart starts to feel this awful pain and my throat closes up. I almost don't think about it..but when I do the tears start rolling down my cheeks. All you wanted was to hear my voice. And I wouldn't even do that for you. I thought you were being crazy when in fact it was quite the opposite. Sometimes you really act like a fuck up...and you only realize it after you've torn someone apart. I can't imagine how you felt. I try and I feel horrible. I ruined so much more than your trust. I ruined the way you'll view love and relationships. I keep whispering I'm sorry over and over again because at this point you've heard it several times. But I don't think you understand that this kills me.I truly regret it all. I haven't admitted it until just now. I regret it. I regret giving attention to a man who wasn't you. And acting as if you weren't one of the best things in my life. What the fuck was I thinking.
