Monday, March 7, 2016

As If I Write About You

elena, 

you didnt have to pull the trigger. 
you could have dialed your mom
your sisters, anyone. you could have dialed
and hung up or dialed
and said hello.
hello, i have depressiondepression.
black, gray and even 
darker are the thoughts I keep. 

You chose 
to flood us with endless whatifs 
whatifs 
whatif she wasnt all there. 
whatif she didnt realize it. 
whatif she was tired of living. 

but 
now 
whatifs change. and 
i ask myself whatif 
whatif
whatif i would have talked to her 
and
whatif she would have told me 
whatif it would have helped

fuck you, elena. whatifs dont bring you back



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