I have the hardest time keeping my emotions under control. Sometimes I feel so lonely even when i have the right people next to me. I find myself happy most of the time. Then I recognize the sadness, guilt, anxiety. I don't express it all to someone..bottle it in for when the time is right.
Think happy. Smile. Be happy.
Don't take life too seriously.
Stop.
Im done.
Just have fun.
I think these thoughts repeatedly. Over and over, day after day. "think happy, be happy." Okay im happy. I'm smiling. It's working. But what the hell am i suppose to do afterwards. Once i fuck up? Oh right, "don't take life too seriously Emily," and once i do- because im always over thinking- i start carving "stop," in my heart. I whisper "im done," but I'm young, and I just want to have fun. So the loneliness is filled with warm hands and a goofy attitude. Just have fun Emily.
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