It kills me. My heart starts to feel this awful pain and my throat closes up. I almost don't think about it..but when I do the tears start rolling down my cheeks. All you wanted was to hear my voice. And I wouldn't even do that for you. I thought you were being crazy when in fact it was quite the opposite. Sometimes you really act like a fuck up...and you only realize it after you've torn someone apart. I can't imagine how you felt. I try and I feel horrible. I ruined so much more than your trust. I ruined the way you'll view love and relationships. I keep whispering I'm sorry over and over again because at this point you've heard it several times. But I don't think you understand that this kills me.I truly regret it all. I haven't admitted it until just now. I regret it. I regret giving attention to a man who wasn't you. And acting as if you weren't one of the best things in my life. What the fuck was I thinking.
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
Friday, April 3, 2015
Rants All Night Long
Educating yourself on vegetarianism and veganism isn't an easy task when videos such as Meet your Meats pop up. Helpless little earthlings getting tortured is always a tear jerker. I cannot go two seconds without bawling like a baby. I just get so emotional. A baby calf being ripped apart from the mother cow is such tragedy. Well, now I'm crying just from thinking about it. I always get angry that people can consume those sickly ANIMALS, and all I see are these poor creatures getting tortured and killed for consumption and profit. I also just notice How helpless they are. Humans are not and will not be friends to them. Such an awful experience, I must say. How do they not associate those animals to pet? I could easily have a pet pig or a duck. How in the world would I drag the piggy, shoot it in the head and let the earthling die a painful death. Hello?! I could never do that, and I am sure no one else could but they will support the slaughtering meat industry. This is why i lean more towards veganism. Even if I eat smoothies all day long, at least I will feel happier and no guilt towards supporting those industries. Milk sucks anyways. It would be so great to have someone to share this with since it is just ranting and ranting...I'll have to find a veg head somewhere and just taaaaaalk.
(praying my summer room mate doesn't eat meat..a girl can dream)
April
*treat Bradley to as much as I can
*no seafood whatsoever
*slowly CUT OUT MILK & CHEESE (bye, bye feta)
*make deodorant & lip balm
*yoga
*blend up smoothie bowls
*cook up yummy rice bowls
*pay back that angry little lender
*meditate daily
*make friends
*smile
*regain self control if terrible J happens
*love never fails
*tolerate those who are hypocrites
*nap, nap, nap
*school is important, attend!
*squat & bike/run
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Bang, boom!
Oregon and Washington, I miss you. I miss you because the times spent there was time spent with my love. I cannot wait to make plenty of memories in those states again in the years to come.
Such joy thinking about it all.